I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
