she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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