Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
