I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
