can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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