I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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