You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The Olympian is in my bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
