if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
