Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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