is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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