i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
