so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
