stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
