You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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