the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
