ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
