she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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