I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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