last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
