I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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