Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
