That's intense
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
