I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
