how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize