so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize