did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
