Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize