Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize