I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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