Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
