Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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