once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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