She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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