I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
