just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your penis caused this!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
