Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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