I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
