She said her name was "party"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
