Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
