I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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