Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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