His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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