I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Randomize
