You can't motorboat a personality
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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