I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
