I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
