So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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