I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
