There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
