I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
