Banned from zoo.
Again?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
