If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
