Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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