He told me they were just razor bumps!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
