I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
