she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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