He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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