What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
