The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
