You're so nebulous sometimes
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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