Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
