we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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