We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
