another moral hangover. fuck.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
